Dealing With Cretins

Feminism, while not easy in theory, in way easier in theory than in practice. In practice, you have to deal with cretins on a pretty much constant basis. These leads to dilemmas, like:

“How to I tell Uncle Willy to bugger off about my not changing my name?”

“How can I  deal with the guys who tell sexist  jokes?”

All of these dilemmas – there are tons more – are dilemmas because of some unspoken assumptions. One is, “I should educate them.” Another is, “I should be polite while doing it.”

Here’s a different way to deal with the  cretins. First of all, take a tip from a French saying and save your saliva when it comes to incorrigible cretins. When it comes to ones who may not be incorrigible, forget politeness. It’s Quiz Time:

“So, so-and-so, how many feminists can you name?”

“Hmm, interesting. Ever actually read, say, Gloria Steinem?”

The answers to these questions are always a) “Uhh…” b) “No” or c) ["smart"ass remark].

Your counter-response: a contemptuous pursing of the lips and something along the lines of “So, you actually have no idea what you’re talking about” or “figures.”

And there you go. Uncle Willy and dumbass acquaintances / co-workers will at least keep their mouths shut around you from now on.  And if every person takes this tack, eventually, they’ll have no-one to make their dumb remarks to.

Ms.

“I can’t wait to be Mrs. X!!!”

“Of course I am PROUD to be Mrs.!!!!”

Honestly, don’t any of these people realize that by their prancing little logic their husbands/husbands-to-be don’t give a rat’s ass about being married?

Also, what is with people who think, or purport to think, that Ms. is a title for divorcees? Or – even worse – who think that it’s for unmarried women (as opposed to unmarried little girls, who are “Miss”)? More and more, it seems, online forms give only two options: “Mrs” or “Ms,” thus encouraging this idea. A 2003 study finds that younger people are more likely to think this way, and no wonder.

Look, everybody; you don’t like not trumpeting your marital status, fine – trumpet away. Don’t muddy everyone else’s water.

One final note: New Feminist dares anyone to find one example of a person who insisted on calling a woman Ms. Birth Name when s/he knew that that woman preferred Mrs. Husband’s Name. Our editor can, however, show you a stack of mail and cards addressed to Mrs. Husband’s Name by people who know that she prefers – and is – Ms. Birth Name.